It's All About ME

At times I wonder what I gave up when I broke up with myself. I was so used to being self involved and now it was time to allow someone else in and learn to compromise.  It seems I've overlooked that very important word "compromise" which is imperative to the success of the relationship between two people.  Sometimes I wish I could go back to being in a relationship with myself, where I could choose pulp free orange juice or my favorite breakfast cereal, watch hours of E! Television or sit in silence listening to the music in my head. I forgot what it's like to have things exactly the way I like it, exactly where I want it and exactly the way that suits me. It takes a lot to transition into selfless especially when you’ve gotten used to being selfish.  You give up half of yourself or at least you’re expected to when you add someone to the mix.  In my case of cohabitation, it’s been a good challenge, but a challenge none the less. We have different definitions of “clean” and “quiet”.  I’m not saying either way is the right way, but it’s been interesting to try and overcome these differences.

Now that I’m in a situation where I have to share more often than not, I find myself wishing I could go back to being 100% selfish.  Although I’ve written about selfishness in reference to a relationship it was in the matter of infidelity and this refers to doing things for you.  I’ve always said what matters the most in any relationship is the one you have with yourself. You have to make yourself happy and it’s ok to be selfish from time to time, especially when it comes to dealing with the “compromises” of a relationship.  You don’t have to do everything together and it’s actually better when you take a step back from your duo.  I’ve decided to take my step into a mall and splurging without feelings of guilt or going for a run in the early morning to take a break from “us”. It’s not that I’m unhappy. I just fear I’ll lose my sanity or my sense of self. Too often I feel that couples as a unit take on the role of we more than me. Don’t forget about the, me. It’s very important.  You may feel bad taking pleasure from something that doesn’t involve anyone else but you, but that’s ok.  Just remember when it comes time to compromise you should be understanding, but still save a little time to be selfish or else your lose sight of yourself trying to keep it together for someone else.